[ To the Cat this is all dreadfully commonplace, just a simple fact of life, and it's been so long since he's talked to someone not even the slightest bit supernatural that he has to take great care not to breeze through the whole thing as if it were well known knowledge. That said, Simon really is handling it well, all things considered. Though he wouldn't put it past the guy to do some furious folklore googling later on, or even to check in with a nurse to make sure he's not growing a tumour the size of a man's fist that's making him hallucinate or whatever.
At the mention of his careful surveillance, the Cat King can't help but huff a little laugh. ]
The role of a Cat King is to take care of the Kingdom. I had to make sure you weren't starting a stray cull or anything with those little baggies of treats. Makes sense they'd send in someone as unassuming as you. But no, you were just... [ He sighs, quietly. ] Being nice.
A cull? No I mean... I was hoping to get their trust and maybe work with a group to try and have as many of the cats I could checked out? Get all their shots and stuff. Spayed and neutered... stuff that helps with big stray populations.
[He doesn't think that sounds bad, but as he sits there after saying it he wonders if that'll be seen as wicked and terrible in the eyes of this so called cat king. Simon adds as if to clarify.]
I just wanted to make sure they're okay and healthy.
[ The Cat knew that from the first or second time he watched him and saw the way Simon was patient and charmed by those in his Kingdom eager enough to take the risk of being close to him. Simon never once shooed them, kicked them out of the way, lifted them without asking or grumbled about their obvious greediness. He was kind the entire time. ]
That's why you were free to carry on doing what you were doing. If I didn't approve, I'd have made that clear.
[ How, exactly, he would have done such a thing remains a mystery. The Cat doesn't think that divulging to Simon that his cats can and will overcome humans on command is something that will go down super well. So he keeps that to himself for now.
He pauses then, tail swishing fitfully through the air, clearly deliberating something for a while before speaking up again. ]
... I should thank you. For being kind to them. Cats are pretty solitary creatures, but years of domestication have made the younger ones... Eager for company. [ He was going to say stupid, but he's trying to be nice. And besides, he himself has been known to long for company once or twice in his lifetimes, and he's not falling into the trap of calling himself an idiot too. ] Sometimes it gets them in trouble. It's not often someone gives a shit enough to think about their wellbeing for the future. So thank you for that.
..... And for saving my life. Though I don't like being in anyone's debt. So I'll think of something other than a simple thank you to set us even for that.
[He may not have grumbled about the greediness of the cats when he gave them treats and food, but he did comment on it. They were greedy little gremlins, but he adored it. A good bit of his hard earned money went towards these hungry little bottomless pits! He didn't mind though, he was happy if they were happy.]
Oh you don't— really you don't owe me anything. I'm just glad you're doing better.
[And that he's apparently going crazy talking to a cat, but there are worse things he guesses. Simon gives him another scritch behind the ears, before reaching for his phone.]
Though... since I have you here, I do have to get some more food for your hungry subjects and you. You just ate my last can of wet food. What's your preference?
[As he pets the cat with one hand he's scrolling his local grocery store's website, getting ready to order a delivery.]
Pate? Shreads? Do you like the stuff with extra gravy?
[ The Cat squints ever so slightly at Simon's gentle refusal for anything further. That may be all well and good for him, but the Cat feels the difference in effort between them like a physical weight. Normally it'd be all well and good to shrug and let him do whatever he wants without the promise of repayment if it was for the good of his kingdom... but saving his life is a little more important than just being kind to his cats.
If he had all his power, perhaps he'd change form right here and pluck the phone out of his hand and order some of the finest freshly caught tuna rather than whatever he can find crammed into a can at the supermarket. That'd give him plenty of reason to want repayment, wouldn't it? And then perhaps the Cat could more efficiently bully his way into his space and find out what it is this human wants. It's impossible to be so selfless, so giving, so kind, without wanting something.
He tries to reach for his magic, but he's still so weary from his ordeal. Another day, maybe even a few hours, and it should be enough... but for right now, this is his lot.
He huffs a frustrated sound that he manages to shift more into the shape of laughter at Simon's question. ]
They're not fussy. They're strays. If you're asking what a King prefers, it's something that doesn't come in a can. [ He flicks his tail, curious. ] You've never wondered why I haven't eaten anything you've offered to us before? It's like eating fast food when you're more accustomed to steak.
[Those golden eyes thin out at him and he wonders if he's said something offensive? When the cat explains their taste in food he assumes that's what the offense was. How dare he suggest a king eat from a can!]
Oh I see, cans not for thee but for thy subjects?
[Simon can't help the amused smile tugging at his lips. Honestly this seems very cat like, picky and choosy, but the cat is cute so he guesses he's allowed to be. Giving a good scratch behind the cat's ears he'll hum, thinking.]
So all this time if I'd showed up with a fresh fish you'd have trotted over and eaten with the others? Or does a king deserve his own special fish?
[Sorry sorry, he can't help but tease just a little. Guess he's getting fish delivered. As he's filling his cart on the app he pauses, peering down at the cat.]
... uh, if I bought cat litter would you be insulted?
[ The Cat can't help but be a little amused by Simon's teasing, and makes a show of rolling his golden eyes, but he still lifts his chin ever so slightly to push into the hand scratching at his ears, as though he's only letting him get away with such an insult because he gives very good pets. ]
I'm used to catching my own food. Out by the docks.
[ Maybe he shouldn't be telling Simon this, but in all reality, what is a human going to do against a host of cats? He'd be sad to set the kitty cyclone on Simon if he ever posed a threat, but he'd do it for the sake of his Kingdom if he were to ever try. But, it's hard to imagine this soft-mannered and kind man doing anything that might put him or his cats in danger, so divulging the general area of where his Kingdom is doesn't feel like that much of a misstep. ]
I still wouldn't have eaten anything you gave me, I was too busy trying to figure you out. But maybe if you keep some freeze-dried fish in your pocket the next time, I'll come along.
[ At the cat litter question, he barks a laugh. ] Don't bother. I won't use it.
[ Is that because he's a magical cat or because he's got plans to shit in Simon's shoes? Who knows! ]
[The docks? Simon wonders if Cat had ever seen or interacted with Harrow? The Bettie was always docked right there after all.]
If you tell me you don't poop because you're not like other cats I'm going to laugh.
[But okay, no litter. No canned food, not for his highness anyway. Adding some fresh fish to his delivery cart... shrimp too, maybe for himself. Among some other things he needs, it's all set so he'll order that and well. Now they wait.]
Sorry this fish won't be fresh from the water, but it won't be frozen. Hope that's better than canned.
[ The level of consideration is still just as touching as it ever was — even though the Cat is being pompous and a little ungrateful, Simon is still treating him fair and even, some might say, spoling him.
It's confusing. It's perplexing. It's wildly, wildly addictive. It's been a long time since anyone looked after him, and he can say he doesn't want it until he's blue in the face, but it won't make it any less true.
But there's a reason he hasn't felt it for a long time, and a reason why he can't let himself get used to it now. ]
How long, exactly, do you think I'm going to be here, Simon?
[Has the cat considered that it's hard not to spoil a cute kitty? Even one that can talk and is a king? Pompous and a little ungrateful just seems like a cat thing to be honest, though not all cats.]
A couple days at least? What? Are you going to hold it in? That can't be healthy.
Stop talking about my litter box habits and listen to me.
[ You infuriatingly handsome, kind and considerate little— ]
I'll probably be gone by tomorrow evening. It doesn't take me long to heal, and I prefer to rest up amongst my own kind. It's nothing personal.
[ Simon has just bought fish for him, which was sweet, but there's nothing stopping him from delivering that to the Kingdom, if Cat lets him know where it is. So that his cats stop hounding him on the way to work...
That definitely isn't being sensible, but the idea of cutting Simon off completely... also doesn't feel right. ]
[Simon is oddly bummed that the cat will only be here a day at the most. Maybe for the best, if his landlord found out he'd get a stern word about it.
And still, this is probably a weird fever dream. He'll wake up in a couple days and none of this will have happened. Simon gives a little scritch at the cat's head before clearing his throat.]
Probably should let you rest up then and while I've got all this free time I can study. Exam coming up.
[He sighs. It's weird though, he should be at work. Everyone must think he's on his death bed, he never calls out.]
Your fish will be here in about an hour... probably. Depends on how busy it is.
[ It comes out of the Cat so easily, weak as he is to those little sighs. Simon might as well be pouting his pretty bottom lip for the way the Cat rolls right over and acquiesces. He thumps his head softly against Simon's hand, feeling the instinctive feline urge to soothe a human whose mood just turned and not entirely hating himself for it, even though he was kind of the cause for it in the first place. But who can blame a human for being disappointed at not having a cute kitty around, right? ]
I'm not a pet, Simon, but I'm not fucking stupid either. I need you and this warm little apartment, or I'll be right back at square one. Worse, someone will see me, and the whole reason I almost died in the first place will come back and bite me in the ass. For now, this is where I sleep and eat. And I'm pretty sure you don't need two hands to study, so I'll curl up in your lap, and you can pet me while you work.
[ There! Now stop looking all disheartened like that. ]
And, if you must know, I'm a shapeshifting cat spirit. I'm basically a god. So while I can eat and drink and do everything a typical body can, I don't have any of the annoying parts to deal with. So no litter box required.
[Simon sputters. How dare this cat call him out? The cat is lucky it's so dang cute.]
Alright, okay. You're right, don't get a big head about it, Your Majesty.
[Does then carefully nudge the cat to move off his lap, but does not shoo him off the couch.]
Let me go grab my stuff and you can help me study.
[Which Simon does, getting his laptop and a couple books and the like. Returning to the couch he gets everything all set up, before sitting beside the cat again. Absently he reaches over to pet him, the cat's presense warm and soothing.]
... so what do I call basically a god that doesn't poop?
A Cat King, like I said. It's what I am as well as a title. But if you're asking about a name, I don't have one anymore.
[ The information falls out of him easily, all that worry about divulging too much soothed by the fact that Simon is, unavoidably, a good person. He's content at the idea of sitting here with him for the rest of the evening, eating whatever he's bought for him, maybe even hopping up onto his bed to commandeer one of his pillows to sleep on if he feels strong enough to do it.
Or he could let him lift him, he supposes. He wouldn't mind being picked up by those careful hands again, getting closer to that handsome face to watch him sleep. In a totally not weird way. It's just been a while since he had any targeted attention like this, that's all.
The Cat tucks in a little tighter, purring in response to the fingers running across his fur. He should be letting him study, but curiosity has a long history with Cats, so he asks: ]
What is it you're studying for? Aren't you already a doctor?
No name? Soooo... is it Your Majesty then? Or uh Fluffy?
[Is Fluffy disrespectful? Maybe it's so nice to have a talking cat around because he's not realized how alone he's been. After the break up with David and moving into his own place he thought it was fine, towards the end of the relationship they barely saw each other anyway. But the moments when he was here alone in his flat had been so quiet, he'd just not realized.
Even when there's no talking the purring is delightful too.]
Technically yeah. I'm a junior pathologists' assistant, but I have to continue my education to stay certified so I can keep working.
[He pulls up a website that he's got his courses on, along with a book and notebook.]
I'd like to be board-certified one day, be the one with the assistant instead.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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At the mention of his careful surveillance, the Cat King can't help but huff a little laugh. ]
The role of a Cat King is to take care of the Kingdom. I had to make sure you weren't starting a stray cull or anything with those little baggies of treats. Makes sense they'd send in someone as unassuming as you. But no, you were just... [ He sighs, quietly. ] Being nice.
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[He doesn't think that sounds bad, but as he sits there after saying it he wonders if that'll be seen as wicked and terrible in the eyes of this so called cat king. Simon adds as if to clarify.]
I just wanted to make sure they're okay and healthy.
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[ The Cat knew that from the first or second time he watched him and saw the way Simon was patient and charmed by those in his Kingdom eager enough to take the risk of being close to him. Simon never once shooed them, kicked them out of the way, lifted them without asking or grumbled about their obvious greediness. He was kind the entire time. ]
That's why you were free to carry on doing what you were doing. If I didn't approve, I'd have made that clear.
[ How, exactly, he would have done such a thing remains a mystery. The Cat doesn't think that divulging to Simon that his cats can and will overcome humans on command is something that will go down super well. So he keeps that to himself for now.
He pauses then, tail swishing fitfully through the air, clearly deliberating something for a while before speaking up again. ]
... I should thank you. For being kind to them. Cats are pretty solitary creatures, but years of domestication have made the younger ones... Eager for company. [ He was going to say stupid, but he's trying to be nice. And besides, he himself has been known to long for company once or twice in his lifetimes, and he's not falling into the trap of calling himself an idiot too. ] Sometimes it gets them in trouble. It's not often someone gives a shit enough to think about their wellbeing for the future. So thank you for that.
..... And for saving my life. Though I don't like being in anyone's debt. So I'll think of something other than a simple thank you to set us even for that.
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Oh you don't— really you don't owe me anything. I'm just glad you're doing better.
[And that he's apparently going crazy talking to a cat, but there are worse things he guesses. Simon gives him another scritch behind the ears, before reaching for his phone.]
Though... since I have you here, I do have to get some more food for your hungry subjects and you. You just ate my last can of wet food. What's your preference?
[As he pets the cat with one hand he's scrolling his local grocery store's website, getting ready to order a delivery.]
Pate? Shreads? Do you like the stuff with extra gravy?
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If he had all his power, perhaps he'd change form right here and pluck the phone out of his hand and order some of the finest freshly caught tuna rather than whatever he can find crammed into a can at the supermarket. That'd give him plenty of reason to want repayment, wouldn't it? And then perhaps the Cat could more efficiently bully his way into his space and find out what it is this human wants. It's impossible to be so selfless, so giving, so kind, without wanting something.
He tries to reach for his magic, but he's still so weary from his ordeal. Another day, maybe even a few hours, and it should be enough... but for right now, this is his lot.
He huffs a frustrated sound that he manages to shift more into the shape of laughter at Simon's question. ]
They're not fussy. They're strays. If you're asking what a King prefers, it's something that doesn't come in a can. [ He flicks his tail, curious. ] You've never wondered why I haven't eaten anything you've offered to us before? It's like eating fast food when you're more accustomed to steak.
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Oh I see, cans not for thee but for thy subjects?
[Simon can't help the amused smile tugging at his lips. Honestly this seems very cat like, picky and choosy, but the cat is cute so he guesses he's allowed to be. Giving a good scratch behind the cat's ears he'll hum, thinking.]
So all this time if I'd showed up with a fresh fish you'd have trotted over and eaten with the others? Or does a king deserve his own special fish?
[Sorry sorry, he can't help but tease just a little. Guess he's getting fish delivered. As he's filling his cart on the app he pauses, peering down at the cat.]
... uh, if I bought cat litter would you be insulted?
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I'm used to catching my own food. Out by the docks.
[ Maybe he shouldn't be telling Simon this, but in all reality, what is a human going to do against a host of cats? He'd be sad to set the kitty cyclone on Simon if he ever posed a threat, but he'd do it for the sake of his Kingdom if he were to ever try. But, it's hard to imagine this soft-mannered and kind man doing anything that might put him or his cats in danger, so divulging the general area of where his Kingdom is doesn't feel like that much of a misstep. ]
I still wouldn't have eaten anything you gave me, I was too busy trying to figure you out. But maybe if you keep some freeze-dried fish in your pocket the next time, I'll come along.
[ At the cat litter question, he barks a laugh. ] Don't bother. I won't use it.
[ Is that because he's a magical cat or because he's got plans to shit in Simon's shoes? Who knows! ]
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If you tell me you don't poop because you're not like other cats I'm going to laugh.
[But okay, no litter. No canned food, not for his highness anyway. Adding some fresh fish to his delivery cart... shrimp too, maybe for himself. Among some other things he needs, it's all set so he'll order that and well. Now they wait.]
Sorry this fish won't be fresh from the water, but it won't be frozen. Hope that's better than canned.
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It's confusing. It's perplexing. It's wildly, wildly addictive. It's been a long time since anyone looked after him, and he can say he doesn't want it until he's blue in the face, but it won't make it any less true.
But there's a reason he hasn't felt it for a long time, and a reason why he can't let himself get used to it now. ]
How long, exactly, do you think I'm going to be here, Simon?
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A couple days at least? What? Are you going to hold it in? That can't be healthy.
[Okay Mr. Cat bladder expert.]
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[ You infuriatingly handsome, kind and considerate little— ]
I'll probably be gone by tomorrow evening. It doesn't take me long to heal, and I prefer to rest up amongst my own kind. It's nothing personal.
[ Simon has just bought fish for him, which was sweet, but there's nothing stopping him from delivering that to the Kingdom, if Cat lets him know where it is. So that his cats stop hounding him on the way to work...
That definitely isn't being sensible, but the idea of cutting Simon off completely... also doesn't feel right. ]
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[Simon is oddly bummed that the cat will only be here a day at the most. Maybe for the best, if his landlord found out he'd get a stern word about it.
And still, this is probably a weird fever dream. He'll wake up in a couple days and none of this will have happened. Simon gives a little scritch at the cat's head before clearing his throat.]
Probably should let you rest up then and while I've got all this free time I can study. Exam coming up.
[He sighs. It's weird though, he should be at work. Everyone must think he's on his death bed, he never calls out.]
Your fish will be here in about an hour... probably. Depends on how busy it is.
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[ It comes out of the Cat so easily, weak as he is to those little sighs. Simon might as well be pouting his pretty bottom lip for the way the Cat rolls right over and acquiesces. He thumps his head softly against Simon's hand, feeling the instinctive feline urge to soothe a human whose mood just turned and not entirely hating himself for it, even though he was kind of the cause for it in the first place. But who can blame a human for being disappointed at not having a cute kitty around, right? ]
I'm not a pet, Simon, but I'm not fucking stupid either. I need you and this warm little apartment, or I'll be right back at square one. Worse, someone will see me, and the whole reason I almost died in the first place will come back and bite me in the ass. For now, this is where I sleep and eat. And I'm pretty sure you don't need two hands to study, so I'll curl up in your lap, and you can pet me while you work.
[ There! Now stop looking all disheartened like that. ]
And, if you must know, I'm a shapeshifting cat spirit. I'm basically a god. So while I can eat and drink and do everything a typical body can, I don't have any of the annoying parts to deal with. So no litter box required.
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[Simon sputters. How dare this cat call him out? The cat is lucky it's so dang cute.]
Alright, okay. You're right, don't get a big head about it, Your Majesty.
[Does then carefully nudge the cat to move off his lap, but does not shoo him off the couch.]
Let me go grab my stuff and you can help me study.
[Which Simon does, getting his laptop and a couple books and the like. Returning to the couch he gets everything all set up, before sitting beside the cat again. Absently he reaches over to pet him, the cat's presense warm and soothing.]
... so what do I call basically a god that doesn't poop?
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[ The information falls out of him easily, all that worry about divulging too much soothed by the fact that Simon is, unavoidably, a good person. He's content at the idea of sitting here with him for the rest of the evening, eating whatever he's bought for him, maybe even hopping up onto his bed to commandeer one of his pillows to sleep on if he feels strong enough to do it.
Or he could let him lift him, he supposes. He wouldn't mind being picked up by those careful hands again, getting closer to that handsome face to watch him sleep. In a totally not weird way. It's just been a while since he had any targeted attention like this, that's all.
The Cat tucks in a little tighter, purring in response to the fingers running across his fur. He should be letting him study, but curiosity has a long history with Cats, so he asks: ]
What is it you're studying for? Aren't you already a doctor?
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[Is Fluffy disrespectful? Maybe it's so nice to have a talking cat around because he's not realized how alone he's been. After the break up with David and moving into his own place he thought it was fine, towards the end of the relationship they barely saw each other anyway. But the moments when he was here alone in his flat had been so quiet, he'd just not realized.
Even when there's no talking the purring is delightful too.]
Technically yeah. I'm a junior pathologists' assistant, but I have to continue my education to stay certified so I can keep working.
[He pulls up a website that he's got his courses on, along with a book and notebook.]
I'd like to be board-certified one day, be the one with the assistant instead.